I met with Yang again over Zoom a couple of months ago. She sure has taken her foot off the brake and is well on her way to be and do everything she wants to be and do. Her Bookkeeping practice is flourishing despite the challenges around the pandemic. Yang has turned her life around. She is a motivated and inspirational person. She spends more time with her kids and spending time with them on home-schooling, something she never anticipated she would be doing. Her ability to accept change, and change with what the environment is demanding of her right now, is because she’s had a mindset shift. She has become UNSTUCK!
The point is, Yang identified the enormous potential and possibilities that she has, and has learned how to tap into it.
Now, most people have mental blocks, like Yang had, that hold them back, whether they know about them or not. Many of these mental blocks are unconscious, so people can’t deal with them. Your ability to identify your mental blocks and to release them is essential to you becoming everything you want to become.
We all experience negative emotions of all kinds, and they are the primary reasons why we are unhappy and ineffective. If we had no negative emotions, we would be happy all the time. So, your ability to understand your negative emotions and then to release them, will free you to accomplish more than you ever imagined. Yang is a testament to that.
In Yang’s case, as we had identified during her discovery sessions, fear was the greatest obstacle to her success. When Yang first spoke to me about her work situation, I remember suggesting to her that it’s time to ‘reset, to have a fresh start’ and how she expressed her fears.
When you say, ‘I can’t’, it’s not because you are unable to, but because you are afraid to. When you consider doing something new or different, fear rises in you. The more you think about it, the more the fear rises, and you become overwhelmed and the ‘I can’t, I can’t, grips every part of your body, to a point where you switch off thinking about trying something new. You resort back to your comfort zone, your ‘make-me-feel-good’ zone, as much as it is unrewarding and unchallenging to you.
Two of the greatest fears most of us face, are the fear of failure and the fear of rejection. They often go together.
The fear of failure can paralyse you to the point where you do nothing to expand and grow to your true potential. You look for guarantees that you will be successful if you do try something new.
Like Yang, you may want to start your own business, but the fear of losing your current salaried position; that you may lose all your investment and go broke, that you may not be able to attract enough customers and so on, keeps you stuck in your fear and you find more things for you to add to your fear and you do nothing! Zilch! Niente! Nada!
So, the downside here of fear is, that the longer you stay stuck in fear, the more things you find to be fearful about. Yet, failure can be the greatest of learning experiences (I know 😊) and the most successful people will tell you that they have failed many times before. Your mindset makes all the difference!
Now the fear of rejection involves other people. People whom you interact with; your family, friends, colleagues. Your mind tells you ‘I can’t because I need the approval of all these people’. So now you are living your life according to other’s expectations, always concerned about what they think of you.
You start to add things to your fear of rejection, thinking what your colleagues will think of you if you take a new direction; will you have time to spend with them; will they ridicule you, laugh at you, think of you as a different person and so on.
You are uncertain now whether making this decision, the decision of taking your foot off the brake and moving forward, will be a good decision or one which will isolate you and you find yourself lonely. So, the feeling of rejection will be far worse and you decide to stay where you are and not ‘rock the boat’. But you also know that this is not your true potential; that you are capable of achieving much, much more!
So, like Yang, how are you going to address your fear?
As Yang would tell you, you have two choices; either you fight your fear, or, flight from your fear:
- You can hold your fear close to your heart, feed it, nurture it and let it grow in to something that eventually paralyses you in to doing nothing with your life (Yang says, never to take this option!), (flight) or,
- You can feel your fear, understand it and release that mental block by overpowering it through your determination to drive your success. (fight)
You know, I know and Yang definitely knows that the second option is the best option to take. Yes, I know, it is easier said than done. It takes an abundance of courage to do so, but you are determined to release that mental block and thereby take your foot off the brake.
How do you do that? You work on yourself. You work on what’s going on in your head and the conversation you are having with yourself that is creating the fear.
You work on your mindset. By that I mean, you develop a growth mindset, empowering yourself with resilience and proactive thoughts. By confronting your fear head-on, you reduce its power over you. Yang did this exceptionally well! Every time she had a negative or fearful thought, she would speak to herself. She would say things like: “I am going to win. You are not going to hold me back. I am determined and stronger than ever before. I will make my life better and you not going to stop me!”. “I am not afraid of you”.
Yang eventually discovered that she feared less, that she could do things with confidence and conviction and starting testing new waters, breaking new ground, slowly but surely. She took her foot of the brake, became more courageous, took some risks and started doing what she feared.
You too can do it! The time is now.
So, if you can relate to Yang’s story and you really want to reset your life, take this self-confidence assessment attached hereto. Email me your completed assessment and 10 lucky winners will qualify for a complimentary 30 minutes ‘Reset Your Life’ Consult with one of our experienced consultants. This is a Free consult, no credit card required!
During our time together, we’ll uncover what’s really important to you and we’ll identify simple, clear steps that you can start taking towards enjoying your new life.
